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I Stop Running a blog for 30 Days: This is Why for 30 Days

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Put down the mobile phone.

You’ve heard the narrative earlier than: Social media is a spotlight reel.

That’s a part of my job… Or reasonably, that’s my job. A job I’ve invested almost a decade in.

There’s loads to like about social media.

There’s additionally a number of us which are actually good at it — making life appear simple, breezy and nothin’ however because of this.

**

… However while you’re vying for consideration and followers and likes and sponsors and shit, you are feeling compelled to create so that you’ve one thing to publish. And compelled work by no means… properly, works.

So, I stop.

I finished running a blog. I stop my job.

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I do know. I understand the irony.

After I determined to step away from the digital world, I had every intention of continuing my blog — I simply knew I couldn’t within the state I used to be in.

I thought-about it a self-care sabbatical of types. However I additionally understand I left a number of you hanging once I took a break from blogging, so I really apologize for that.

**

I initially had zero intention of turning my weblog right into a enterprise once I launched it as a pastime 10 years in the past, however right here we’re. And above all else, I’m grateful for each rattling side of it — the ups, downs, the alternatives, friendships, partnerships and the teachings.

Primarily, although, I’m grateful for the group it’s enabled me to construct. You guys are the rationale I’m in a position to embark on a journey comparable to this — traveling and working remotely around the world for the next few months — a reality that’s not misplaced on me.

**

So, yeah, I stop running a blog for awhile.

And I’m lastly prepared (and ready) to elucidate why:

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**

Cell telephones are fuckin’ nice.

I imply, the flexibility to entry data from nearly wherever is life-changing.

However I slowly began noticing that having fixed entry to the world at my fingertips meant the world may (ought to?) have fixed entry to me, too.

The euphoria of sharing an Instagram-worthy moment light over time, and my ardour for the profession I’d constructed as a blogger was changed by a debilitating feeling of dependence.

Sarcastically, the extra I deepened my digital life, the extra I felt disconnected from myself and my environment. I felt like I needed to be related and sharing and posting wherever and in all places I went.

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I started to note how regularly I’d collect with pals, household and acquaintances solely to have our heads buried in our cell telephones.

Enjoying the social media comparability sport despatched me right into a tailspin.

And on the time, I wasn’t in a superb place.

**

I used to be smack-dab within the middle of the depression I instructed you about (and have since seen a therapist, however we’ll save that for one more publish — all good issues to say, there).

I used to be distant from household. I used to be absent from friendships. I’d been let go from a job (and acquired an inflow of social media questions on it). My private life was only a mess — it felt like a closet scattered across the floor.

I wasn’t caring for myself. I’m unsure I knew methods to anymore, really.

However I saved on posting.

Subconsciously, I used to be monitoring what, the place and why everybody else was doing — each in my skilled and private lives.

And I wasted a lot vitality making an attempt to placed on a cheerful face when issues have been unhealthy.

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I missed speaking. I missed with the ability to sit with my very own ideas… Did I even understand how to try this anymore?

Over time, I started to comprehend how a lot my on-line life took me away from my actual life as a result of, properly, it took over my life.

I missed connecting. Or doing abso-fuckin-lutely nothing to move the time.

I missed… the little issues.

**

The tipping level got here from a short dialog I had after dropping my instructing job (partly as a result of I used to be not “not posting sufficient on social media,” lol.)

“You simply have to take a while for your self and work out what’s occurring — as a result of no matter it’s, it’s inflicting loads of resistance to issues in your life you used to like doing.”

And eventually — lastly — it clicked. (Thanks, Meredith.)

**

Fuck. Yep.

My day-to-day had grow to be considerably of an out-of-body expertise. I used to be bodily dwelling however felt completely devoid of life itself.

In hindsight, I wasn’t permitting myself to course of something I’d been going through; and for the second time in two years, I discovered myself in a spot the place I had no concept who I used to be… (Or maybe that two-year span was only one very lengthy interval of precisely that. What a scary thought.)

And so, I disappeared — once more.

(Right here’s why I did the first time round).

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As I began to settle into life with out fixed connectivity, the very first thing I spotted was this:

It’s unattainable to do something productive for those who’re all the time some other place, unable to completely embrace the truth (good or unhealthy) of the very second.

At first, as soon as I eliminated the noise and turned it inward, issues really acquired worse.

I’m unsure why I anticipated that to be some sort of instantaneous answer (like placing a band-aid on a bullet wound), nevertheless it wasn’t.

The place the hell do you even begin when each single a part of your world feels as if it flipped the other way up?

In these preliminary 30 days when I finished running a blog and eliminated social media from my life, I used to be uncovered to all of the issues I’d been beforehand numbing — and holy shit, I hated them. Holy shit! I hated coping with them.

However I knew I wanted to.

So I simply began to place one foot in entrance of the opposite — and doing exactly that when you’re depressed as hell isn’t any simple feat.

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I’ve been utilizing this newfound non-digital area as a springboard to recreate a actuality I’m comfortable dwelling in.

Dwelling mindfully in a digital world is a piece in progress, certain — however so am I.

And in the end, I’m discovering and feeling pleasure in that course of.

I’ve an extended technique to go (and a number of relationships to fix, together with this one/ours), however once more — it’s one foot in entrance of the opposite.

**

There’s a lot extra to return — however my pals, please keep in mind to take a while out of each rattling day to place down your cellphone.

Don’t go lacking in motion out of your life.

Pause, breathe, search for and embrace what’s taking place proper in entrance of you. As a result of for higher or for worse, it’s your actuality.

If there appears to be one thing holding you again, go forward — disappear for awhile. Determine it out. Give it time. Ask for assist.

Disconnect out of your previous. When you don’t, it is going to solely hold you there and forestall you from transferring ahead.

It’s okay to not be okay — however don’t keep there. Care for your self.

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Love ya’ll so rattling a lot — and I actually missed you. You understand I’m here for you for those who ever want a good friend.

I can’t wait to share extra from my travels in Cape Town quickly. Till then…

All good vibes,
Hallie x

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